Q. Mr Capp,
I am an adult volunteer who has recently been nominated to the Vigil Honor. Initially I was surprised and touched by the honor but that feeling quickly turned uncomfortable and sad. You see, not only was I up for selection but so was my son and the board felt that I was deserving and he was not. So instead of feeling good for myself I felt bad for him, which is a natural feeling considering the circumstances.
Unfortunately, my feelings right now are leaning toward not wanting to go through with this at all (I've told someone that I'm 65/35 as far as wanting/not wanting to go through with it). My son has told me to go through with it, so has my wife and also a lot of other Scouters but I just don't know. I've never been one to feel comfortable about accolades or honors and any honor that makes me feel uncomfortable and aggravated is an honor I'm not sure I want.
I have said that if I do go through with it, it will be the last thing I do for the lodge. This should be an exciting time but it has deteriorated into a serious gut check. Do you have any advice on how to proceed?
Frank
A. Frank,
You have given me lots to think about, but I come down on the side of you accepting the honor, using it as an opportunity to further inspire your son, and going on with the good work in the lodge. That will help make it a better place for him to grow and develop.
The Vigil Honor is an individual and very personal thing. It was never meant to be a father/son adventure or experience. People are selected for the Vigil Honor based on their individual contributions, both past and expected future contributions. Adults are considered against an adult standard and youth against youth standards. To me, it is the greatest honor in Scouting for the youth to select you as an adult to receive this special honor.
Since your lodge has seen fit to bestow its highest honor on you, my suggestion would be to accept their judgment and honor them by fulfilling their wishes and to honor them further by continuing to serve the mission of your lodge. Sounds like your family agrees. Things like this don’t happen every day and certainly not for every person. Let your selection inspire your son. His time will come and you will have made his lodge a better place by continuing to serve.
If, on the other hand, you would be taking the Vigil just to satisfy others and plan to drop out immediately following your induction, it seems like you should decline the honor. The Vigil Honor is given not so much for what you have done, but for what you will do. So, if you decide to step away from the lodge, you might consider stepping away from their honor, too, and allow for another space to be available for someone who may aspire to serve more and more over the years.
Thanks for writing.
Ray